


a tempo that my heart knows

by chilipepperconverse



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Another Episode
Genre: Alternate Ending, Comfort, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, Flashbacks, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleepy Cuddles, you know the usual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-01 10:42:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20813810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chilipepperconverse/pseuds/chilipepperconverse
Summary: Toko may be a believer in "tough love," but the alternative is nice, too.(Komaru helps calm Toko down after a nightmare/flashback/panic attack!)





	a tempo that my heart knows

**Author's Note:**

> *kicks down door* ULTRA DESPAIR GIRLS HOLY FUCK
> 
> hey everyone!!! i'm not exactly back, as school is eating up every free minute of my days, but i made myself stay up a few extra hours one night because playing through udg has made me Crazy for tokomaru... like oh my fucking god
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I finished the game the other day and I’m aware that this doesn’t exactly line up with the canon ending!! I just don’t feel like changing it lmao
> 
> anyway, i hope you all like this little number!  
(this fic's title is from the song Soothsayer by of monsters and men!)

When Komaru opened her eyes, her bed was empty and the lights unplugged. The scratching noise that woke her up didn’t stop.

Komaru sat up straight, her hair tickling the back of her neck. Her hands gripped the sheet behind her involuntarily, and she pulled herself backwards until her back touched the headboard. Indistinct images flashed through her mind like a film reel. She had seen this movie a thousand times, but it never got any less visceral. The bodies, their mangled faces, the unnatural din of mechanical limbs pounding concrete in her ears. 

Through her heart murmuring and labored breathing, the only cohesive thought Komaru could form was a question; A thought she had always had ready in those times of danger:

_Where’s Toko?_

In the pitch black, Komaru felt herself going into hysterics. The string of soft glowing Christmas lights kept their room dimly lit at all times, for Toko’s sake. So the fact that the room was dark—

Komaru froze. All she could do was pray nothing had gotten in while they were asleep. Had the building’s security been breached without any alarm going off? Was there a Monokuma staring at her right now? The hacking gun still lay under the bed, but the thought of having to use it again tied Komaru’s stomach in knots. 

So she sat perfectly still, trying to sift any signs of danger apart from the lazy hum of the air filter at the window. The moonlight filling the room was barely parseable at first, but the longer Komaru’s eyes stayed open, the more the pale blue separated from the black. Soon she could make out the shape of Toko, crouched in the corner, along the same wall as the window. 

She had her knees brought to her face, and her arms covering her head. Silent sobs wracked her body, making her shake tenfold her usual amount. 

“T-Toko?” Komaru whispered cautiously.

The shape tensed, retreating into itself even further. Toko only gave a low, guttural moan, a noise Komaru had only heard her partner make a few times before. And unlike then, Toko didn’t look to be asleep. 

Komaru slowly pulled her legs out from beneath the comforter, stepping lightly on the cool hardwood floor. Her heart told her to run, to get to Toko as fast as possible. But she chided herself, and headed over to the dresser. She felt up and down the wall next to it until she found the outlet, and keeping a hand there, fumbled along the ground for the plug to the lights. 

After managing to fit the plug into its socket, the walls seemed to shed tension, the room now fed with its usual faint glow. The lights crawled from the top of the dresser mirror and hung loosely along the length of their bedroom. Printed tapestries covered much of the wall under the lights, all varying sizes and patterns. Komaru had taken to collecting any printed fabric or tapestry that came in from the area cleanup crew, fixing rips and washing out stains. She delighted in having her own little restoration project, and hung the pieces anywhere she could. Some bore complex mandalas, others photographs of forests or mountains. Together they made the room much more personal than the normal living quarters the Future Foundation had issued for survivors.

Toko didn’t react to the lights. In fact, when Komaru’s eyes adjusted, her girlfriend’s shaking looked to have gotten worse.

As she grew closer, she realized Toko had been muttering to herself, barely through her breath. The words were indistinguishable until Toko lifted her head, trying to shout but hardly getting any sound out through her thin, dry voice.

“Run! G-g-get away, t-they can’t-”

Her head collapsed back into the cradle of her arms, the trembling getting more and more dramatic. Komaru took a deep breath in an attempt to steady her own heart, and lowered herself to Toko’s level.

“Hey,” Komaru whispered. She carefully took Toko’s clammy hands and cupped them in her own. She was met with more whimpers.

“Hey, Toko,” she whispered again, this time rubbing circles on Toko’s hands with her thumbs. “Hey... shh, it’s okay. I’m here...”

Toko looked up, her vision bleary. Her face was a dizzying shade of red, swollen considerably around the eyes. 

“I-I told you t-to run,” she heaved. Every word came in chopped bits, like a knife was cutting up the sounds as they left her. Toko’s eyes were strangely wide and pale, almost glazed over. “Y-you’re not s-safe, I- I don’t have my s-stun gun..” 

Komaru blinked back a tear and settled onto her feet in front of Toko. Gingerly, she placed her hands on Toko’s shoulders and brushed her thumbs across them, moving like they had all the time in the world. 

“Listen to me for a bit, okay?” She said softly. Toko brought her hands to her chest and began to chew on her nails, but she nodded. 

“What are you seeing right now, Toko?”

Toko hummed nervously, her eyes darting around. The panicked, glazed look was fading away, but her body still jittered under Komaru’s touch. 

“I-I... I saw, ah..” she stumbled over her words. “I-I don’t know. But I thought- no, i-it’s stupid.” 

Komaru shook her head. “It’s not,” she murmured. With that, the fog in Toko’s eyes finally cleared. “Are you back here now?” 

“I think so,” Toko nodded once more. “I d-don’t think I left. I-I thought I heard M- Mono— Th-those _things_ outside our door, so I h-had to make sure they wouldn’t c-come in but then they did a-and they were attacking you and I c-couldn’t— I was-”

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Komaru repeated, leaning forward to wrap her arms around Toko. “There’s nothing here, honey. Just you and me. We’re safe now.”

Toko collapsed into heavier, violent sobs, leaning further into Komaru’s embrace. Her muttering had stopped altogether, signaling to Komaru that the attack was fully winding down. She folded her arms across Toko’s back, a little tighter now, and rested one hand on the back of her head, sifting her soft, feathered hair between her fingers. Komaru deliberately slowed her breathing, making a point to exaggerate her movements so that her partner would fall into line and start breathing normally. The two of them sat like that for a while— on the cold floor, listening to each other breathe in the moonlight. 

Toko sighed forcefully. “Ho-kay. I-I think I’m good.” She sat up and rubbed her eyes, flicking away the hair clinging to her face. 

Komaru cocked a concerned eyebrow. “Are you sure? Or do you just wanna get back in bed?”

“Yes,” Toko grinned smugly as she untucked her legs out from under her. She stood up and held out a hand. Komaru took it, but not before taking a moment to marvel at the image of Toko standing over her, in a big t-shirt, extending her hand and walking with her to bed. _Their_ bed. The one they _shared_. It made Komaru dizzy in all the right ways. 

Toko had gone through hell and back for her, against the wishes of all the people around them. Komaru had thought for the longest time that that meant she owed Toko, that there was some imbalance she had to level by repaying her partner somehow. But moments like this reminded her that simply _being_ there— simply existing with, loving, and caring for Toko— was more than enough. 

Toko sat on the edge of the bed before scooting back to the pillows stacked up against the headboard. When they had met, Komaru had thought Toko could be pretty clumsy. But looking at her now, she carried herself with unintended grace. Toko adjusted her position, tossing her low, thick ponytail aside. She looked over at Komaru with a blushing, expectant face.

“Well? A-Are you gonna cuddle with me or just sit there with your mouth open?” 

Komaru giggled and crawled over, draping her body across Toko’s frame. Her arms encircled her torso and her head lay resting on Toko’s chest, where she could hear her heartbeat. It was still fairly fast, but at least regular. 

When the two of them had come back to the Future Foundation, Komaru had wanted to start helping immediately. All that Toko had said to her, about taking action rather than waiting for someone else to, it all came back as soon as she had stepped through those doors. Seeing Makoto had made it all the more real to her: there were things she could do. If her brother, of all people, was doing his part to fix things, there had to be a role for her to play as well. 

So, a week or so after being settled in, she had gone on a rescue mission. She had been elated, eager to do some good. But she soon found the harsh reality had escaped her until the moment she was back in Towa City. The buildings loomed, almost blocking the sky from view. Every street stretched to the horizon, threatening an eternity walking on it in its decrepit state. The gun slipped in her slick hands, and with each turn of its dials came another vivid memory of staring over the rim of the device only to see a hoard of Monokumas barreling towards her. It had all been too much to stand.

Komaru had to be taken off of that mission, to her dismay but not to anyone’s real surprise. After that, Makoto had advised her to rest for a while. 

“That’s what they had us do when we got here,” he’d told her. “Just take time to heal.”

Of course, it was easier said than done. Komaru’s empty, soulless room had reminded her too much of the Towa City apartment she’d been locked in. She ended up wandering the halls of the Future Foundation building for hours at a time, trying to convince herself that she was just exploring and not looking for Toko.

The two of them had taken time apart for a day or two after arriving, thinking it would put them at ease to be alone for a while. But Komaru soon found that being without Toko made her more anxious than anything. After she came back, and was consequently put on de facto house arrest, Komaru would find any excuse to visit Toko at her work station, wherever it was that day. Oftentimes they would hang out in the library, where Toko tasked herself with storing any surviving books brought back from scouting, cleanup, or rescue missions. 

Gradually, the two of them realized how unbearable it was to be separated. Toko was the first to admit this, to Komaru’s surprise. Soon after, she began staying the night at Toko’s place, which was surprisingly tidy, save for the crumpled papers scattered around the writing desk and clothes hanging out of the dresser. The longer Komaru would stay, the more her things ended up in Toko’s apartment. And after a time, it became _their_ apartment. It wasn’t too much of a shock to any of their friends- most assumed that they were together before Komaru even moved in. 

All of this history passed briefly through Komaru’s mind as she let her eyes drift shut. Toko hadn’t fallen asleep yet, and in fact seemed to still be a little antsy, her hands fluttering above Komaru’s back. Komaru looked up at her, asking “are you okay?” with her eyes. 

Just making eye contact seemed to relax Toko a little. She considered Komaru, tilting her head slightly before reaching to cup her girlfriend’s cheek in one hand. 

“Your hair’s getting longer, baby duck,” she mused, moving her hand to pinch a lock of Komaru’s hair between her fingers.

“Is it?” She asked. Komaru looked down out of the corner of her eye to see her hair up front, and yes, it was definitely longer. Almost to her shoulders. “Huh! I hadn’t noticed. Is there someone here who cuts hair?”

Toko shrugged. “Probably. I can ask around.”

“Oooh, but what if,” Komaru grinned mischievously. “I let it grow out? Like, to my butt? Do you think that would look good?”

“What, like if we swapped hairstyles?” Toko snickered. “I think you’d look cute with long hair. But… well, I think you’d look cute with any hair, honestly.”

“Aww, Toko!” Komaru laughed, leaning forward and planting a kiss on her girlfriend’s cheek. “You’re so sweet!”

“Don’t make me change my mind,” Toko grumbled, playfully pushing back Komaru’s face, only to reciprocate by pecking her on the cheek as well. 

Komaru relished the warm feeling in her chest, pressing herself into Toko’s side. Her girlfriend’s hand rested on the small of her back, making sure she didn’t stray far. One of Komaru’s legs hooked around both of Toko’s, keeping her close, too. Knowing the other was safe and with them, the two could finally let themselves fall asleep once more. 

The waking world had been their nightmare before, sleep their sanctuary. That had changed drastically in the past few months. Now the two settings had flipped: daytime was peaceful and sleeping was a battle. But like their battles before, they faced their fears together. No matter how bad the dreams that found them were, the other would be waiting to catch them in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> and there ya go! quality wlw softness tm
> 
> please feel free to leave comments! they keep me alive. here works, or my tumblr is also chilipepperconverse! I'd love to hear from y'all :3
> 
> (also for those of you who follow me for my bnha fics, big things are in the works! i have a mega fic i've been cookin up for months, but I havent been able to work on it for awhile. but mark my fucking worms,, it will Happen.)
> 
> thank u all SO VERY MUCH for reading!!! see you in the next one! ❀


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